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Devil Spice

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Perhaps the most annoying entry ever? [25 Nov 2005|07:44am]
This is a slightly modified version of an e mail I wrote to my freind who has recently been fired from our training stable. It was the response to the question "What's new"

This has to be the longest e mail I've written for years. You asked what's been going on, so here it is.

A long rest doesn't seem like such a bad thing for you, you've definatly earned it! I'm super excited about the 4 days I'm taking off for thanksgiving, the last 9 days at the barn have been a bit stressful for me. People keep trying to give me a heart atack! I think you were not all the way gone yet when the ambulance's came for Brie's sponsor. We were sitting around waiting for Juliet to come see her new horse on her birthday when I heard massive farting in the upper arena followed by a loose horse. I run up there and there's this woman who I've never seen before sitting on the ground. I asked if she was OK, she said "where am I".
You know that I tend to know everybody. I guessed that she was Susan, since that was a name I saw on the board and sent Jane to get her medical release...which she hadn't filled out yet!
We waited for the fire trucks to come and she couldn't remember anything past 15 seconds. Our conversation was as follows
"Why am I wearing my glasses?"
"You just showed up with them on today"
"I always am wearing my contacts, did you take my contacts out?"
"Nope" (ha ha ha, I love going around and stealing contacts from the eyes of consious people)
"Ow, My head hurts"
"Yeah, you took a fall from a horse and landed on it"
"Why am I wearing my glasses?"
Repeat repeat repeat.

You know, it's always the people who won't remember it who get the cute firemen to come to their rescue.

So I missed the big birthday reveal. I put big huge bows all over the horse's stall, one around her neck and a big one in her forelock. Luckily it was videotaped and stills were taken. I will forward a still along to you when I get one.

The new trainer kind of bothers me. Turns out her accent is completely affected. She has only ever been in england for a year and her parents aren't from there or anything. I hear from her students that she looses the accent when she's excited. She seems able to ride a horse effectivly despite her poor dressage position, but unable to teach unless she's ridden the horse prior. I've given her a lot of business because I need her to help me start the 4 new sponsors I've brought up in the last two weeks, but she seems insistant to tell me what I should work on when I ride Katie, or teach any of my regular stundents. Basically she's quite immature and she thinks she knows everything already. Argh!

So my boss had me go to Ram Tap (a show in Fresno) and I stayed in her trailer with her because I don't get paid enough to get a room of my own. I was very pissed off when she didn't let me coach anybody in the novice championship division because it was such an important competition, but coaching Cathy (a student of mine with many challenges that my boss probobly doesn't believe in) in the training level championship (a higher level than novice) division was OK. I was super upset when she split the cross country coaching on Saturday so she would warm up 9 people and I would warm up 1. I totally did not drive 3 1/2 hours to fresno to coach 1 person. I said that I would like to warm up Kristi and Kristine and she told me that they would complain if I did. That's total bull, Kristine and Sue (Kristi's mom) have been asking for me to go down there for weeks because I don't get them all nervous like the "nazi"(their nickname for my boss). So I ended up warming up Cathy and being the "barn manager" in case somebody were to fall off, or have a bad round, or need horse care or something. That's what Sarah said I was supposed to do and she ended up being quite prophetic.

Richene fell off when her horse did a dirty stop on to a little coop. Richene landed on her head and was out cold for 10 minutes. She went to the hospital in an ambulance. Her husband was with her, and I drove behind with little Ashley, her 7 year old daughter. I took Ashley into the waiting room and I will say, it wasn't the best place for a cute little blond girl to be hanging out. We had to go through a metal detector with two security guards to get into the waiting room. The waiting room had three guys with prison tattoos in it (complete with the tatto tear drops, which I understand are reserved for people who have killed another person). I stayed for about an hour. They kept Richene for 2 nights and released her with a concussion and a seperated shoulder. She's in bed and in a lot of pain.

Once I got back to the show grounds there was a vet in with Walter (Kristine's horse). Apperently he hadn't been drinking or eating for two days and only pooped once and it didn't worry Kristine. He was hooked up to an IV and we ended up driving him to Pioneer Vet Hospital. I went with Kristine and I now know how to change an IV bag on a horse while it is in a trailer. Walter had an impaction and severe dehydration. He didn't pee until after 25L of fluids. He also has ulcers and should be coming home from the hospital today.

By the time this Wednesday rolled around I was on my last nerve. I wasn't appreciating every horse that came in for a lesson with me attempted to get their rider off. Only one suceeded but no one was hurt.

Wow, this was long. Sorry to rant and bitch, I know you are glad to be out of there!

take it easy,
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nice to be thought of [28 Sep 2005|09:29pm]
My brother left me a voice mail today. He called just to tell me that he was in Madison, WI and that he just saw a guy with a mullet walk by...buisness in the front, party in the back. That was his entire message.

My brother didn't know what a mullet was until about 2 years ago where I explained it to him with the buisness/party analogy. I haven't been able to talk to my brother for a few months, partialy due to him being a recluse and not having a phone (at ALL) and partially due to him being out of the country. It was nice to be thought of.

On a completely unrelated note, I went to make eggs this morning and one of them had a happy face on its shell. I thought that Danny had drawn it on to denote it as hard boiled or something, but when I held it up to the light, and it was a transperant happy face, I realized that I have discovered my Jesus egg.
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vrooom.... wheee! [26 Sep 2005|06:43am]
Yesterday I rode a motorcycle for the first time. I was like going to puke nervous, I had been having anxiety dreams for two nights, but it was fun. I learned from a friend who is a CHP in emeryville on his sons 100cc dirtbike. I think I did pretty well. I got out of first gear, I went about 15mph, I went over a speedbump, I did a u turn without putting my feet down, and I even layed down a 3ft skid by accident:)

Danny got to tool around on a 50cc mini bike and he looked like a clown having a good time.

In the next few weeks I'll go for a fun ride behind my friend on his big honkin beemer bike before my next lesson.
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The nerve [20 Sep 2005|07:47am]
Last weekend (the tenth and eleventh) I went up to Murieta to help my boss coach our 10 riders in the competition. My boss was one of the first to go in cross country where she flipped her horse on top of her puncturing her lung, dislocating her shoulder and breaking five ribs. She was air lifted out and will be OK, but this is about me.

So I sucked it up, coached the remaining 8 riders, whileupon talking them down from wanting to withdraw and convincing their mothers that they were not going for a ride of death.

By the end of the day my boss had two pages of notes with instructions for me, which I have followed and kept in communication with her, basically running her business. I've been forgoing my beginner students to teach her advanced lessons. Don't get me wrong, at the start of all of this she was very thankful. Now she is happy as long as she was just given her drugs. If she is running low, she calls to complain or to send me out of my house on an errand.

She just called to complain to me about not getting enough riders for our jumping clinician and having to cancel. Not my fucking fault! Argh. I had already arranged to teach those riders and get my beginning lessons canceled. What more can I do?

Last week my sister who hasn't spoken to me since a fight at thanksgiving last year called me and said that she just got out of therapy and decided to stop being stupid. I told her that I agreed with her decision.
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[28 Aug 2005|11:53am]
So I have a friend who lives in Copperopolis on a small ranch. Last month the Brownes, a mother and grown son, moved in next door. Turns out that the mother is Silvia Browne from the Montel Williams show. You may have seen her on a Wednesday looking very worried or concerned while connecting folks with their deceased relatives or polterguists or whatever. Her son shares the same "gift." My friend asked me if she should accept their invitation to dinner. I said Hell yeah!

In other news, I passed my certification I took in Spokane. I even got a perfect score on my cross country teaching:)
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More Testing [17 Aug 2005|08:10pm]
I got a letter from my high school today. Inside was a 50 question survey and a scantron. I can't believe that they are still making me take a test after 7 years!

I went to a Catholic all girls school where I wouldn't say that I was embraced by all the members of the faculty. The very first question on the test was "What religion do you identify with?" I made sure to tell them that I was a satanist (even if it isn't completely true).

Some pony club brat stole me $450 show bridle last week. I want to find them and beat them.

I got to hang out with Mark and Tim on Sunday. It was really fun:)
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LOVE is a soul sucking bitch [11 Aug 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | Tipsy ]

Alright, that subject line has been used before. I stumbled on it while looking over my first LJ posts. Wow, what a different place to be in. So I've decided that after a year in this place it's worn thin on me. The 1 hour each way commute is really starting to grate on me, as is the close proximity of almost in-laws that totally disapprove of me. Maybe it is because I have never lived in any house longer than three years and I've only lived in one place for two entire years one time in the last ten years. We've lived here a year and it feels like it is time to go.

I know that in the past I had a friend who was stricken by wanderlust. I kept trying to convince her that happiness is not a place. Now it seems like I may benefit from my own advice. Incedentally, I heard that Alyssa is now teaching English through the Peace Corps in Romania.

It bothers me that I don't like my job. However, I take comfort in not liking my coworkers and adoring my clients. At least it is not the other way around. I do feel stuck, I don't think I would be very marketable in my field in this area. Maybe that feeling just comes from the blatent disconfidence I recieve from my coworkers, many of whom I considered to be mentors and role models in my youth. God that's depressing.

So I've got great clients, a wonderful doggy, I'm really liking my new horse, but there are these other big things that I can't seem to do anything about. Mostly because I lack the huevos to take any action.

I've also realized that since I graduated (almost three years ago) I have not travelled anywhere other than work trips, and I have not kept any friends outside of my boyfriend and clients (with the ocassional spice of Mark thrown in). I think I could be way happier if I had some life outside of work and home. It is for that reason that I have reconnected with a best friend from the past, hoping that it will be good and that no one has changed beyond any recognition. Especially myself, I really like who I used to be. Now I blush when my clients use the phrase "S & M" in mixed company. I am such a square!

OK, I'm done with this whole "poor me" entry. Maybe I should post more....

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[07 Jul 2005|10:49am]
I will admit that I am a sick person. I have a sore throat and fever to prove it. I am not a sick person in the same way Michal Jackson is, however the City of Sunnyvale, County of Santa Clara, and State of California would have me believe that I am.

Today I am trying to get a child abuse clearance in order to get a teaching certification with the US Eventing Association. I went to the city police department, like my materials told me to do, and after 20 minutes of being treated like an actual child abuser I was told they could give me a clearance for $40, but it would only clear me of crimes in the city of sunnyvale. If I wanted more I could check with the sheriff's office.

Being the smarty pants that I am I figured that I would call the sheriff's office before driving 30 miles to get there. They told me they could give me the clearance I need but it would take 6 weeks and $65. I need the clearance in 2 weeks.

I called the US Eventing Association and asked for help. I got the number for the Child protective services of the state department of justice along with the name of a guy. Called the number, got transfered to another department, who then told me to hang up and call another number where they told me that a private citizen could not obtain this clearance and I would need my employer to call.

Since I am moving backwards I figured I would call the number I was given again and ask for the specific guy whose name I was given. Unfortunatly that number is no longer answered by a human and the recording offers many other numbers to call for many other concerns and no voice mail.

I called one of the numbers and asked for the guy in person only to hear that he retired.

Given that I am several thousand dollars into this program that I am only doing because my boss is requiring it for a pay increase, and I already have a general disenthrallment with the whole thing I have gotten very frustrated.

My little dog tried to cheer me up by jumping on my lap and biting my nose. We'll have to train her to be more nurturing.

I know its not much of an exciting update for somebody who rarely posts but what are you going to do?
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[03 Mar 2005|11:34am]
I feel kinda weird. I recently busted some girls for having blogs on Has anyone heard of this website? It's kind of like LJ, mixed with, with a dash of porn thrown in. These girls, ages 13-15, were basically soliciting themselves to these older pervs. They are horny teenagers, yes, but we like them and don't want them to get hurt. I got wrangled into this whole thing because the moms and women who were concerned couldn't figure out how to operate on the site. It seems awfully close to home....
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Gee It's been awhile [27 Feb 2005|07:34pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

Hi! I've been thinking of many of you lately. I ran across a box that seems as if it was packed about three years ago. It had the punching nun and devil pupets that I think I got in old Sacramento with Xima, eric, and Stefanie and/or Xina. It also had a framed picture of the Haloween portrait we had taken at Sanctuary in 01(?). Hi everybody up north (and south)! Things seemed to have changed so much since then, yet have stayed fairly static for many months. My dog is eleven months old now, her name is Wendy and she is a spitfire. I commute two hours a day (which blows) but I got an XM radio for Christmas. I am selling my boss's pony that I am in love with, and my show horse, which is very hard. I own two horses and currently ride neither. One for detachment reasons, the other's function in solely to be leased to my students. He has the same name as my brother-in-law, who acts like a certain part of the horse's anatomy. I love my new down comforter, wish my accountant wasn't so happy that he's put me into the lowest tax bracket, and I am jealous of my married/engaged friends.

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[11 Oct 2004|06:43am]
I got a doggie yesterday! She's still at the shelter until she gets spayed a little later this week. She's six months old, 12 lbs of Chihuahua/dachshund. She looks kind of like the taco bell dog. We are changing her name because it is currently "Precious." Suggestions?
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Hard week at work [07 Oct 2004|07:28am]
Yesterday we had to put Cisco down. He was our 30 year old appy school horse. He taught thousands of people to ride, including myself. Cisco was the first horse I jumped, and the first horse I showed. It was sad, but it was his time. What makes the week extra hard is that we have to put another school horse down tomorrow. He's only 19, a thoroughbred, and still bright eyed. He has a neurological condition that makes him unaware of what his hind legs are doing. He can still get around alright, but when he lays down it takes him 15 minutes of getting up, and he drags himself around by his front legs in that time. If he were all there mentally he wouldn't lay down, so it is hard and it is a shame.
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[29 Sep 2004|07:34am]
Sickness sucks. I feel kinda like Celine Dion, I'll tell you why. You probobly saw some kind of documentary they were doing on her a couple years ago where they were showing that she doesn't talk on her days off from singing to save her vocal cords. Since her voice is her livlihood she wants to spare it and communicates with her old husband over the phone by tapping the reciever. I'm no singer, even my boyfriend has a hard time pretending he can tolerate my singing, my voice is also my livliehood. I have to teach six days a week, 3 to 7 hours a day, and be heard up to 100 meters away over the sounds of squeeking tack and stomping hooves. I know I'm supposed to call it "voice projection" but there is a dash of yelling in there, and all in all, it stresses my vocal cords. Alot of riding teachers, especially the females, have voices that are obnoxious to listen to. I think it comes from stressing the vocal cords, as I have noticed that my voice is getting less appealing. Add to that getting sick over the weekend and having a sore throat and a voice like a pubescent boy. Working for one's self sucks in that if I don't go to work, I don't get paid, and if I don't stress my voice while it is recovering from sickness, my paycheck is going to totally suck.

Went looking for a doggie this weekend, but didn't find one for me. Still working on getting the house clean. If any of you horse people know of a good event horse or well tempered prospect for sale, let me know. I've got alot of clients looking for horses and I need to start finding them horses so that I can make that tasty commision! I've also got a super kids pony for sale!
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[23 Sep 2004|07:35am]
Yesterday I got a $250 gratuity from a client. It was in a card that said "A small thank you." I don't think I'll ever see that kind of tip ever again, so I am savoring it now. Hooray for wealthy clients!
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Long time no update [20 Sep 2004|07:56am]
Hi everybody! Here's what's going on with me lately:

First off, Danny and I moved to Sunnyvale. We live in a 2 bed/1ba house that is kinda a duplex. We have a back yard so we will be getting a doggie soon. We even visited the pound yesterday, but they did not have the right doggie for us. The rent is free, but here's the downside.

My commute is now about an hour long, each way. We, and all of Danny's other family members have been using this property for storage, so there is crap everywhere. The house is 50 years old, and has been vacant for 6 years. Not only have I had to do thorough cleanings on all the rooms (including washing walls and ceilings) but nothing works right, especially the plumbing.

On the horse front, Oreyn has been lame from an unknown cause, and unable to be diagnosed since the start of July. This week we finally found some inflamation in a couple stifle joints that we can inject. We also took X rays at my request to be thorough and I should get the results of that today.

Oh, and yesterday in Safeway I saw a woman with a tatoo that xima has, in the same place (i think) The tournee cat on the left shoulder. The plain version, not the fancy one with purple (it has purple on that side, right?). This woman was blond and had a kid, so she was like Xima in the parallel universe almost completely oposite to this one.
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[06 Aug 2004|06:51am]
This week I arrived at work on Monday morning and the first thing I did was drag a friend's dead horse out of its stall. Not a good omen for the rest of the week. Tuesday night we had a friend stay with us that OD'd on Crystal Meth the night before and went to the hospital while her boyfriend and friend went to jail. Friends getting in trouble with drugs always bothers me and always makes me think of all the others. Thursday my horse is slightly lame again, and the vet really doesn't know where it is. He was clearly locking his stifle in my lesson (though not for the vet) and we are ultrasounding his stiffle. It is a tough one because he's such a pain in the ass to trailer that I avoid taking him to a vet clinic at all cost.

This week is a big pile of ass suck.
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My first motorcycle ride [02 Aug 2004|07:11am]
Danny bought me an Arai helmet yesterday and then took me for a short ride on the back of his new bike. I just wanted to go down the street and back. I was immediatly frightened when he took off at over 30mph! That's twice the speed I wanted to go! He went slower on the way back, and I wasn't as scared.

We have set a week to take a vacation. Now we need to come up with things to do on the trip. I'm getting a dog a month or so after we return, so we are going to do the vacation that a dog could not do. I think we'll go down to San Diego (Danny wants to go to magic mountain on the way), I want to go to the beach there. I saw parasailing on TV and it looked fun. I also hear that the zoo down there is pretty cool. I will be happy to listen to anybody's suggestions, positive, or negative, regarding a vacation.
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[29 Jul 2004|07:20am]
I haven't updated for quite awhile, but it's not from a lack of exciting things that went on. I'm moving to Sunnyvale at the end of August with Danny to live rent free. This means anywhere from a 50-80 minute commute to and from work everyday, but the crappiness of that is overrided by the word "free" blinking in my brain. The place is a dump and we have to do some fixerupping, but I get to get a doggie! I really want a doggie.

Speaking of work, I'm taking one day off every 2-3 weeks. I hit my jaw 2 weeks ago when a horses head collided with mine as the horse refused a jump. Sometimes I heard stuff crunching in my jaw when I open it, which I can't do very wide. My boss has been a bitch lately, which is saying something, because even when she is being nice, sometimes its hard to tell. She's coming back from a 2 week trip today and we'll see if she percieved some of the things I have done as being "behind her back."

My horse is being a total bummer. He sometimes appears lame, but seems to be in pain due to a rotten attitude about certain movements. The vet is a bit perplexed, but says that she had seen something like this before on an Intermediare horse and it was a pulled suspensory in a hind limb (that's bad). She suspects that is the case with Oreyn, but wants us to keep working him to rule out behavioral issues. This whole thing scares me on two levels. One level is how much it will suck to have a career ending injury for a horse I could have sold for five figures six months ago plus paying astronomical vet bills, etc, The other level is that the behavioral issue the vet wants us to tackle is rearing, from what I believe is pain. Lest I remind you that I was squished in December from a horse rearing from pain and was unable to walk for 4 months. I don't do rearing-from-pain issues. Luckily, as a trainer, I have some trainer friends who are not as afraid of death as I am and they are going to help me work through this.

Also at work I saw one of the worst riding accidents ever, but no one got hurt. I had 2 students, 8 and 10 years old, the 8 year old was riding our old appendix gelding, who is a bit fragile and moves as such. The 10 year old was on our heavy Dutch gelding who has a long powerful stride. They were supposed to be cantering on 20 M circles at either end of the arena. Our arena is about 53M long, so there's a good 10 or more meters between the circles. The girl on the dutch gelding didn't quite complete her circle at the end and her circle shifted toward the center. The next time around her horse, going at a very strong canter, plowed into our fragile appendix horse, throwing horse and rider into the air. The horse landed on his feet, about 10 feet from where he started, the 8 year old riding him, flew apout 5 feet up out of the saddle, and landed, on her head, 15 feet away from where her mount was now standing. The battering ram horse had halted immendiatly too, I don't think he meant to crash, he must not have seen the other horse, or had time to react. The 8 year old had a big dent in the back of her helmet, but was unhurt, and unafraid. A real gutsy kid.

I really do think I need to take some time off. I hope that my honey will take some time off too, so that we can go somewhere together. I would like to see San Diego, or maybe check on the redwoods.
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[23 Jun 2004|07:48pm]
Last night I couldn't sleep because my throat was sore. I had to switch sides with Danny and I ended up on the window/dusty side. Everytime I would swollow I would wake up. However, I did manage to sleep through $700 worth of damage done to my truck 30 feet away. That was a big pain in the ass. They broke my wing window and fucked up my panel but left my stereo in there. I'm joking that they probobly could have identified it as a cheep stereo without breaking in, but it was probobly just some neighborhood kid vandals. So I went to work for 9 hours with 23 kids at our summer horse camp and I wasn't so happy. I have broken glass everywhere inside my car and got some under my fingernails. Ali = not happy camper.
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[16 Jun 2004|06:52am]
My friend woke up after a week of unconciousness! She's not talking yet, but she's breathing and swollowing on her own. she can also write notes, but her motion on the left side of her body is limited.

Last night I heard a Stereo Total song on a Dunkin' Donuts commercial.

I saved a bat from getting run over by a horse yesterday. But I went coyote hunting on Sunday.
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